OPINION: There are no excuses to be made for the types of abusive behavior he is displaying.
Ex-partners who won’t take no for an answer are scary business. I should know. I have one.
We were together over 20 years ago—as in that relationship ended in the year 2000.
Since then, he has tried any and everything possible to get my attention. I have made it absolutely clear that I want nothing to do with him, not even friendship, but he refuses to take no for an answer.
Prior to social media, this meant him calling me from different numbers or showing up in spaces he knew I would be in. It was aggravating, to say the least.
Fast forward to the age of social media, and he took his harassment online. He has been finding me on every social network since MySpace, trying to add me, adding or following people he knows I am associated with. He once went so far as to contact a man I was dating!
He is still doing it now in 2022. He recently messaged my mother on Facebook Messenger, and he left comments on my professional Facebook page (he is blocked on my private page).
It’s annoying, and more than a little scary. The police won’t do anything, because other than being an online nuisance, he hasn’t really done anything. He hasn’t made any threats. He hasn’t physically attacked anyone. He is simply being an online stalker.
Kanye, however, has made (veiled) threats, including one directed at Pete Davidson, Kim Kardashian’s reported new boyfriend, in a song. He is cyberstalking his ex, Davidson and anyone he thinks is connected to them.
To be clear, I am not a fan of Kim Kardashian. I think she is a culturally appropriating white woman who intentionally trolls Black women for sport.
That, however, is a post for another day.
For the purposes of this post, I will just say that I don’t care for Kim at all, but I also don’t believe she deserves what is happening to her right in the public eye. Both things can be true at the same time.
Kanye is displaying the type of obsessive behavior people say O.J. Simpson displayed toward Nicole Brown.
Kim Kardashian West and Kanye West (Photo by Larry Busacca/Getty Images)
He has used social media posts to try to gaslight Kim and antagonize her friends. He has made veiled threats against Davidson, even after Kim has begged him to stop—and we know she did this because he included a screenshot of her pleading text in a social media post.
Kanye is, of course, a tweet-and-delete kind of creep, so a lot of his posts disappear, but screenshots are forever, and they are out there on the internet, and we have seen them, so we know what he’s doing. He knows what he’s doing. He’s acknowledged it and said he wants to be accountable for his actions.
Someone please hold him accountable!
This is not healthy for Kanye, Kim, Pete or their children. We have been made aware of Kanye’s mental health struggles, and Davidson has been very open and honest about his. What Kanye is doing is triggering for everyone, and that needs to be addressed as well. It is not healthy for anyone involved.
Kanye apologists and even Kanye himself will say this is about her keeping his children away from him and things of that nature, but if this were really about his children, he wouldn’t be going to such great lengths to humiliate their mother.
What Kanye needs is someone to hold him accountable. Where are his homeboys? People he looks up to? People who are able to reason with him? Why aren’t they pulling him to the side and telling him that what he is doing is wrong?
Does he even have any friends anymore, or has he alienated everyone around him? That could be one explanation for why this horrid behavior is going unchecked. Still, there has to be a man somewhere who is not afraid of Kanye’s ego or Kanye’s ire who would be willing to step to him and point out all the reasons he needs to fall back from both Kim and Pete.
Because again, this is about ego. Kanye believes he owns Kim, and as such, he is appalled that she would even dare to entertain another man. He must assert his dominance over her in some way or fashion.
This despite the fact that he went to great lengths to publicize his “relationship” with a Great Value dupe of his ex-wife. It’s OK for him to move on, but if she does, it’s a huge problem.
And that is the crux of it, isn’t it?
If possession is 9/10 of the law, and he possesses her through marriage, then she belongs to him and him alone.
If she decides to leave him, and he can no longer possess her, then the next best thing becomes making her life as miserable as possible—which is exactly what he is doing.
And that is not OK.
What he’s doing now is a violation.
His behavior is obsessive, abusive and inexcusable. Nothing he’s doing is right.
Kanye needs to stop.
Monique Judge is a storyteller, content creator and writer living in Los Angeles. She is a word nerd who is a fan of the Oxford comma, spends way too much time on Twitter, and has more graphic t-shirts than you. Follow her on Twitter @thejournalista or check her out at moniquejudge.com.
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